My hope charm, China doll

The Christmas Bazar was the most exciting event of school. We waited the whole year round for that one special day in . I used to go hand in hand with two of my elder sisters. Mother used to give us 50 pence each to buy toffee apple, choclate and candy.

That year I was in the fourth grade. It was one of those white Christmas’s. We all trotted together to school in our bunny coats and mittens. The entire assembly hall was beautifully decorated with balloons and streamers and the pretty little colored lights. And in the centre of the hall grandly stood the dazzling Christmas tree with a golden star sparkling at the highest tip.

Father Christmas was cheering around all the children, Ho Ho Ho….Merry Christmas…. Everyone….Christmas Hymns…in the back ground….Jingle bells..Jingle bells….cling clong….ting tang…. But my eyes were struck in the far end of the hall were in a glass show case stood the prizes for that that years grand raffle draw.

There was a beautiful china doll standing in the centre shelf of the show case. It was the first prize for the draw. I could see my beautiful china doll leaving the glass mirrored show case to
I couldn’t keep my eyes of the doll……

My sister’s were dragging me along from one corner of the hall to another, but my eyes didn’t drop petals and I just could not think of anything else but that beautiful doll…I wish I could have it, I wish it was mine…I so badly wanted to just once hold the doll in my hands…..but what to do, the raffle prize would no way be for sale, and even if it had been…I only have 50 pence for toffee apple and candy….

We all cued in front the candy bar…were the delicious toffee apples waited. We’d each pay for our own sweets. The 50 pence that mother gave us. But deep in my mind I wanted that doll so badly that I just couldn’t spend my money on a toffee apple that one time. I had to have that doll…I just had to. So instead, I bought a raffle ticket with my 50 pence.

No toffee apple or candy for me instead I wandered around the hall with a precious ticket in my hand. Over and over again I would come back near the glass showcase. I couldn’t let any body else steel the beautiful sight of the china doll. The doll was standing there smiling at me, like it wanted to reach out and fall into my hands.

Finally the draw started…

One after another all the prizes were distributed. Mary Wonda, the blond girl with a face full of freckles of 5th got the second prize, a huge fluffy teddy bear with a hat. Her excitement made me so nervous…I couldn’t stand it any more. I could see my beautiful china doll leaving the glass mirrored show case to some other hand. To someone else who would not love the doll and take care of the doll like me…… As the moments slipped by, I couldn’t hold my breath. I pleaded to my sisters to leave before my disappointment was too apparent and every girl or boy of my class saw me swamped in a huge puddle of tears.

Then finaly the last Raffle number was drawn. The head master Mr Jones, announced the lucky number ---81. I couldn’t belive it was happening to me! My beautiful china doll was slipping away ….I couldn’t bear the pain of parting; my sisters dragged me away from the crowd to the rear entrance of the room. We were just about to leave and then Mr Jones announced, “the owner of number 81 cannot be found, so there will be a re draw.” This time, I didn’t bother to turn from the door, I’d given up all hope, just awaiting for my final bit of disappointment…..

Mr Jones announced the new number ---21. I was gazing at the ticket in my hand. Number 2 and a 1, Yes it was 21, it was me. I’d won the first prize of the Christmas bazaar raffle draw. The China doll was mine. My sister’s carried me to the stage…..

I can’t remember all the bits and pieces, all I remember is proudly carrying my China doll with me to her new home. Not letting any body touch her, any body take her from me.

I still carry my China doll with me every were I go…every place I move t. It reminds me of how a little girls hope turned to reality. It makes me feel stronger and reminds me ….to never every lose hope if you want something or some one so badly…….

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( আগের কথা :সচলে একবার " আমার ছেলেবেলা " নামের ই-বুক তৈরী করার ঘোষনা দেয়া হয়েছিল । তখন এই লেখাটি সম্পাদক বরাবরে পাঠিয়েছিলাম । কিন্তু ইংরেজী লেখা - এই অভিযোগে সম্পাদক লেখাটি পড়ে দেখারও কোন আগ্রহ দেখান নি , সরাসরি বাতিল বাক্সে ফেলে দিয়েছিলেন । বহুদিন ধরেই লেখাটি কম্পিউটারের মাই ডকুমেন্টস ফোল্ডারে পড়েছিল । আজকে মাসকাওয়াত আহসানের ইংরেজী গল্পটি দেখে , এটি পোস্ট করার সাহস করলাম । জানি না সচলায়তনের মডারেটররা লেখাটি প্রকাশ করবেন না কি সচলের সেই সম্পাদকের মতোই নিষ্ঠুর আচরন করবেন । - অর্না জেবতিক )